When life gives you lemons, use them to squart lemon juice into the eyes of your enemies.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Wise people think all they say; fools say all they think.
Welcome to Hell. Here’s your copy of Windows ME.
Welcome what you can’t avoid.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What happens when a poisonous spiders bites his tongue.
If you are not supposed to drink and drive why do bars have parking lots?
Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it but only you feel the warm feeling that it brings.
Hello dominos can i have pizza hut’s number.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made the horn louder.”
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
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